fucking fathersday

I hope that you die

and your death will come soon

i'll follow your casket in the pale afternoon

and i'll see you get lowered into your deathbed

and i'll stand on your grave till i'm sure that you're dead.

aMAZEing

BOOT!!!

Mummy, am i wet enough?

Ilia's godfather and Arne, the pirate seperated from us by splashing water

Yesterday we went to an amazing park, with a huge maze, petting zoo, playground, not that far from the Belgian Border. Arne and Ilia had so much fun (and were only in bed around 9.30!) and so did Koen and I. The weather was absolute brilliant so that really made the day.

hahaha

fudge

love those canadian magnets

love canadians.

magnets

boyish girl or girlish boy?

i wish i knew

yesterday, at les nuits botanique, i saw a wonderful girl perform. Just her and her guitar, it was too moving to be true (and later i discovered that she's a very nice girl as well!) Her voice was so utterly brilliant, i think it makes angels drool ;)
Ronja, sweety, don't know why, but i had to think about you... loved every second of it... here's one of her songs, or at least one of the lyrics of her songs ;)

i wish i knew

what to do with you

but the truth is

i ain't got a clue

do you?

i wish i had an idea

of what i need

but we can't know

and that's okay

that's okay

i wish you'd understand

i wish that i could know

the truth is i have no idea

i wish i could just run around

and only worry

about right now

i hate to admit it

but i don't know shit

and neither do you

do you

and

that's good enough for me

for you

for now

as long as we can talk about it.

Sharon van Etten

because i was in love

2009

extremely loud and incredibly close

nope, not about ilia, but a very good intens book i'm reading by jonathan safran foer.

"Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs or burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."

mano mundo - antwerp 10th of May

my very first festival. cool eh ;)

milk? cookies?

the hell with milk and cookies

just give me titties and beer

the last week

naughty superman ;)

lovely boy

RIP grandad 18.06.1919 - 14.03.2009

I've been asking myself: what's the point in living? My grandad almost became 90. Today he was cremated. He lived, took very good care of me as a kid (caravan travels to luxembourg, feeding me these funny 8-shaped, pudding filled pastries , baking the best chips in the whole world, doing our garden after my dad had left us, liking his alcoholic snaps once in a while) always being very cheery and happy when i saw him... but at the same time he wasn't happy. Cheated on my gran a couple of times but stayed with her and paid his debts... From that time onwards, they fought, all the time... It's a shame, they both could haven been so happy... But weren't...
I once promised him, as a little girl, that i would one day have a son to continue our familyname. And 25 years later, i do have a son (who he, for the few times that i visited during the past year, loved to bits...) and he has my name, so the family tree continues. I've never been proud of my last name, but today i was. Weirder things have happened...

because you asked

Rugby shirts, we'll support England on saturday.

dancing euhm queen?

dancing while checking the stereo now and again... handy boy, my boy ;) He seems to like beyonce.

MetallicA

great picture

great guy who took it

great guy who's on it

life can be easy with the right music on the background

chocosmoeltje ;)

Tom was very sneaky and took a picture of me while i was munching a lovely sandwich with choco! I mmmmmmmmed it! it was covered with nutella, and my face was as well...

an invitation by O.H.Dreamer and me

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day.

And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

...

That's what i want to know about the person I want to share my life with.

Lovely words

not mine, but i took the liberty to use them...

18 months

Tomorrow, my wee boy is 18 months. Time really flies. I love him more than i ever loved anyone before (but he's incredible cute - that's what probably does the trick;)) but he can drive me absolutely bonkers at times as well... But in the end, we hug and make up, each and every time...
He's great, but i bet every mum says that about her kid. He's babbles nonstop, loves animals to bits (especially basil), can be incredibly naughty with the cutest of smiles, loves in the night garden (it's the only tv show he actually watches), loves biscuits, spaghetti and fruit, knows a few words already, calls everyone papa ;) enjoys his bath and bedtime. My life has never been more wonderful since he's in my life. Can't wait for the next years to come.